


I Will Make You Believe You Are Lovely

by victorfuntes



Category: Fall Out Boy, Panic! at the Disco, Twenty One Pilots
Genre: Alternate Universe - No Band, Dom/sub, Edit - definite ED trigger, Implied/Referenced Cheating, M/M, Slow Build, possible eating Disorder Trigger?, probably smut if i ever learn how to write that, sporty tyler awe
Language: English
Status: In-Progress
Published: 2016-03-27
Updated: 2016-06-29
Packaged: 2018-05-29 08:29:11
Rating: Mature
Warnings: Creator Chose Not To Use Archive Warnings
Chapters: 11
Words: 13,006
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/6366862
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/victorfuntes/pseuds/victorfuntes
Summary: <blockquote class="userstuff">
              <p>Josh doesn’t really remember that much about Brendon Urie, considering they haven’t talked since like senior year of high school, and he lives across the country now. But thanks to Debby, josh was now going to be crashing at his beach house for the next few months.</p>
<p>Honestly, it was a spur of the moment thing; just like the ones you always see in the movies. After all, they’re allowed to do that right? They’re like adults and stuff. In college. Responsible.</p>
            </blockquote>





	1. Excuse Us, While We Sing To The Sky

**Author's Note:**

> Yikes ok so this is the first time i've written anything in a long time, and i'm still trying to figure out this website so honestly i'm just going to apologize in advance. That being said though, I hope anyone who reads this actually enjoys it!

Josh doesn’t really remember that much about Brendon Urie, considering they haven’t talked since like senior year of high school, and he lives across the country now. But thanks to Debby, josh was now going to be crashing at his beach house for the next few months.

Honestly, it was a spur of the moment thing; just like the ones you always see in the movies. After all, they’re allowed to do that right? They’re like adults and stuff. In college. Responsible.

Well, at least Debby is pretty responsible. And it was her idea, so basically josh had no other choice. I mean, having to accompany his best friend on a roadtrip to San Francisco over their summer break? It was practically against his will. And it didn’t help that they just so happened to be arriving a day before the Mountain View Warped tour date. That especially wasn’t planned.

But now it was leaving day, and josh still wasn’t done packing despite Debby’s constant warnings over the past few days, and he was slowly starting to regret agreeing to this a little. Okay, actually a lot. Like, why the fuck does he even need to pack? He literally wears the same 3 outfits, except for the occasional day where he spills coffee on his shirt and then decides it’s probably a good idea to do laundry.

“Oh shit” he whispers under his breath to himself with wide eyes, quietly reminding the empty room that no, he apparently isn't an actual adult and couldn’t be bothered to do laundry before he started to pack.

“Hey, i’m going to throw the rest of the snacks in the back of the car and maybe we can grab some coffee on the road an- holy shit josh are you even ready yet?” Debby says, rounding the corner into josh’s room, holding a labeled box of her clothes.

“What? yeah of course I am. I was just putting the last of my very clean and very organized outfits into this” He says, motioning to the overflowing suitcase that was resting on the edge of his bed.

Debby quietly giggles and rolls her eyes in defeat, making her way to their shared kitchen. She knew Josh like the back of her hand, and because of that, she also knew that the reminders she had given him days ago weren’t going to have made a difference anyways. So, Stopping at the kitchen counter, she quickly grabs her phone and yells over her shoulder with a grin, “I’m going out to the car-” pausing to balance the box and her phone on her knee, so she could open the front door with her free hand

“-Oh, and I call shotgun!” She adds, quickly shutting the door behind her before Josh can even protest.

Josh responds with a quiet sigh, barely audible even to himself. And, after pulling on a (hopefully) clean shirt from his suitcase, he grabs the rest of his things and heads down the stairs to join his best friend.

-

It’s bright, and it’s warm.  
Actually, josh didn’t know if you could even call this warm. It actually felt more like a soul-blistering-heat, but he guesses everything's up for interpretation. After all, he realizes, they’d been driving for somewhere around 12 hours. And he’d had the brilliant idea to leave the sunroof open. But in all honesty, at the time it sounded fool-proof. Debby and him could blast their music, roll all the windows down, and let the summer-air and sunlight consume them.

But somewhere along the way, Debby fell asleep, the radio lost signal, and Josh zoned off. And he was only now realizing their mistake, just as the sun was shrinking behind the horizon; Graciously leaving the sky behind with rose-colored streaks.  
“Hey, at least the sky will match our arms” Debby says with a faint smile, not bothering to pick her head up from its relaxed position against the car door; which earns a breathless giggle from the driver.

“I didn’t know you were awake” Josh says in return, pulling his eyes off of the road for a moment to glance at Debby.

She obviously hadn’t been awake for long, as she still had her arms curled into the fabric of her t-shirt, and was fluttering her eyes softly to adjust them to the sunlight. Her hair was pulled into a messy bun, and the dull silver-blonde was harshly contrasted to the golden sunlight that was pouring through the open window.

“Me neither” She replies after a moment, slowly peeling herself out of her napping position and stretching her arms lazily to the sides of her.

Josh smiles to himself at the innocent action, and returns his attention towards the road in front of them. And his eyes move just quickly enough to catch the ‘Wichita - City limit’ sign fly by them.

“Are we already in Wichita?” Josh questions, knowing that Wichita is where Debby had suggested staying for the night.

“I guess so, I mean it is already 8. Oh, have you eaten anything today Josh?” She says, cautiously adding the last part of her question.

“Of course I have. Debby, you don’t need to parent me. I can handle myself just fine” Josh breathlessly mumbles, color rapidly reaching his cheeks at the statement. He never was able to lie to Debby.

But she just brushes it off, not noticing the way the car speeds up slightly or how he wipes his sweaty palms onto his jeans. Instead, she whips out her phone to direct Josh to their hotel for the night.

“I’m proud of you J-” She says, making a small noise of approval in the back of her throat. “-But i’m starving. Do you think there’s anything around here to eat besides that” she huffs, pointing to a Subway in front of them.

“Can’t we just order some pizza to the room? I’m sick of driving, and we still have like 15 hours to drive for tomorrow” He whines, faintly reminding himself of his little brother.  
But his complaints are cut short when he sees Debby in the corner of his vision. She turns towards josh to get his attention, while the last of the pink sunlight illuminates her soft features. She quietly blinks her best puppy-dog eyes at him, and allows her eyelashes to brush over the tops of her cheek. She knows it’s silly, but Josh falls for it every time.

“Fine. I think there’s a Taco Bell a couple blocks from the hotel.” He grumbles, clearly not as irritated as his voice suggests.

“Thanks babe” She squeals happily, leaning over the console to give him a sloppy kiss on the cheek. He responds with a noise of disgust, wiping the back of his hand over the now-wet skin.

“Oh shut up, I know you love me”

Without moving his eyes off the road, the corners of his lips turn up into a shy smile, to show that, okay, maybe he doesn’t hate her. Maybe.


	2. Your Love's A Fucking Drag

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Josh’s jaw immediately drops at the comment, stretching out his now-flushed cheeks for a few moments before quickly locking his lips together again. He does his best to recover from the response, but holy shit his face is so red and Debby definitely heard the whimper that escaped from his surprise. Was she really going to bring that up now? After all, Josh spent his entire senior year trying to forget that night. Or as his friends had liked to call it; the night he royally fucked up.

Through barely-parted eyelashes and a sleepy daze, josh was coming back to his senses. He could see the morning sun filter through the crack in the curtains, he could feel himself wrapped up tightly in his (surprisingly) cozy hotel-sheets, and could faintly hear the shower running; while Debby’s soft music mixed with the sound of her accompanying hums through the thin door. He lazily smiles, with eyes still closed, at the easiness of the situation. Everything was the way it was supposed to be.

Any nerves that he previously had about this trip were starting to melt away, finally allowing Josh’s excitement to shine through. He wasn’t sure what he was excited for most actually - Getting to reconnect with one of his old high school friends, getting to live at Brendon’s house in San Francisco, or maybe getting to go to Warped tour somewhere besides _Ohio_ . But truthfully, he was just happy that he could take a mental break from everything that had been holding him back recently. Josh kinda figured that was the reason Debby had practically _begged_ him to come with.

 Well, that, and he had some amazing conspiracy theories.

“Hey Josh? You should take a shower and i’ll grab us some breakfast. If we’re going to make it there in time for Warped tomorrow, we’ll need to hurry” Debby says abruptly, glancing towards the bedside clock that read 7:02, and expertly twisting a dry towel through her drenched hair. In the process, she manages to thoroughly interrupt Josh’s thoughts, bringing a cloud of steam with her. 

He nods his head wordlessly in agreement, throwing his legs over the side of the bed until they meet solid ground. And after a few dramatic yawns, he eventually makes his way towards the bathroom, using the palm of one hand to rub at his sleep-deprived eyes, and the other to lock the door behind him.

But after 30 minutes and a much needed cleaning of his ‘turn-the-shower-pink’ hair, Josh was wrapping a towel loosely around his defined waist; allowing himself to grab his (mostly) clean clothes from the bedroom.

But the second he steps out of the warm bathroom, he silently curses to himself for leaving his clothes so far away; only having a towel to protect himself from the cold confinements of the room. So, Josh does the only thing he can do. He waddles awkwardly to try to cover as much of himself as he can, while simultaneously _not_ dropping his towel or clothes. And if you ask him, that sounds like a pretty impressive skill to have. And after quickly getting dressed in his basic grey shirt with black skinny jeans, he was feeling pretty accomplished.

 Somehow though, he gets the impression that Debby didn’t quite appreciate his god-given skill as much as he did; given that she was still doubled over on the ground, hysterically laughing at him through her tears.

“You know, you don’t have to be _such_ an ass right? Like you could support my dreams and goals in life. One day you’re going to wake up and think ‘wow, I stopped the world from ever experiencing the greatness that is Joshua Dun’” He replies smoothly, a smirk quickly chasing the sarcastic response. 

“Then maybe god. will thank. me for probably saving. the human race. ” She manages to get out through the cracks in her laughter, barely pulling herself up off the ground.

 Josh only responds by grasping for his chest dramatically, his face full of faux disappointment. But as he turns around to pack up his things, his facial expression changes to an understanding grin, as he quietly whispers “true though” Only causing Debby to fall over again with laughter

 

-

 

“You know” Josh chimes from the driver’s seat, giving Debby a quick glance through squinted eyes. “I don’t even know where his house is. I mean, i’m sure it’ll be hard to miss; like with all of the broken beer bottles and passed out celebrities on the lawn” He says, sarcasm lacing through his words.

 “Hey, don’t be so quick to judge. If I remember correctly you seemed to just _love_ his parties back in high school” She replies, quickly shooting him a knowing glance.

 Josh’s jaw immediately drops at the comment, stretching out his now-flushed cheeks for a few moments before quickly locking his lips together again. He does his best to recover from the response, but _holy shit_ his face is so red and Debby definitely heard the whimper that escaped from his surprise. Was she really going to bring that up now? After all, Josh spent his entire senior year trying to forget that night. Or as his friends had liked to call it; the night he royally fucked up.

In hindsight, nothing good ever comes from a drunk Josh. But a lonely and blackout-wasted Josh? Now he was smooth. So smooth in fact, that he cornered Brendon into a bedroom, tried to shove his hands down his friend’s pants, and then and _only_ then noticed that Brendon’s boyfriend was right behind them. I mean, josh had never ate shit quicker than that night. And even though Brendon forgave him the next day, Josh could barely look him in the eyes for months.

“I swear to god Debby I will literally drive back to Ohio if you even think about bringing that up” He warns, his voice surprisingly steady.

“ J, I would _never”_ She responds, throwing her hands in the air, rendering defeat. But the action only earns a huff from Josh; loud and high-pitched.

  
“Besides” She adds, the corners of her lips slowly rising into a grin. “We’re already here. That’s his house at the end of the block.”

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Thank you for reading!!! I really appreciate all of the hits/kudos/comments!!
> 
> also i'm definitely planning on continuing this story :)


	3. The Death Of A Bachelor

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Holy shit holy shit holy shit ho- is all his brain can comprehend at the moment because, holy shit. Josh was pretty sure he died on his way over to this tent and was now speaking to a literal angel. Well, I guess they weren’t technically speaking, considering Josh had just been staring at him with a slack jaw; complete with blood pouring down the lower half of his face.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> okay so i literally just finished this chapter and was planning on posting it tomorrow but surprise!!! i have no patience so here you go :)
> 
> Also: trigger warning for blood.

“Well if it isn't Joshua Dun and Debby Ryan. No fucking way, it’s like high school all over again. Actually you know what, scratch that. We’re all way hotter.” Brendon says from his doorway, his excitement visible all the way from their car.

They both shake their heads in acknowledgment, and Josh can literally _feel_ Debby’s eye’s roll into the back of her head at the comment, but she keeps her mouth shut. She’s always been a good house guest.

Josh, on the other hand, is not so collected. At the current moment, he’s standing just outside their car, his mouth gaping as he takes in his temporary home for the next few months. I mean, Debby said it was a nice house, but she failed to mention that community college, sleep till 3 in the afternoon, _Brendon_ was fucking loaded. No joke, it was like some MTV cribs shit in front of him.

I mean, for starters, there was a literal _river_ separating Josh and the front of the house, where Brendon was still standing smug. And wait, Is that a turtle?

“Well don’t just stand there, Come on inside! I’ll show you guys to your rooms and give you a tour of the rest of the house.” Brendon shouts from the doorway, tearing Josh away from his earlier thoughts 

He sees Debby shoots him a quick glance as they both begin to pick up their bags, making their way up the front stairs. It takes a few minutes of struggling since josh had been driving all day and apparently his legs forgot how to be legs, but eventually they make it through the doors. (yes, plural.)  And, not to their surprise, the inside of Brendon’s house was arguably the coolest thing they’d seen in their lifetime. Not that it was really all that hard to do; they lived in columbus for god’s sake.

But before Josh even has time to start thinking about home, his thought are interrupted yet again as a deep voice begins to echo through the halls, obviously addressing Debby and him.

They quickly grab their things, trying and failing miserably to locate the source of the voice until Brendon appear right in front of them, a shy smile slowly forming on his full lips. 

“Sorry, I got a little caught up. Ever since this whole thing with Jenna, i’ve been a little scatterbrained.” He says quietly, his eyes never leaving the floor beneath him.

 Josh gives Debby a questioningly glance at the sudden change of mood, but she dismisses it was a quick nod and a ‘later’ expression across her face. Josh figures it was a conversation to be had away from Brendon, so he leaves it alone for the time being.

 “Anyways..” Brendon says, trying to alleviate the thick tension that had started to form “Let me show you guys your rooms. I figured you two would want one’s next to each other, so they’re both just down this hallway” He adds, turning his back towards them as he begins towards their aforementioned rooms.

 Debby and him follow at his heels until they reach the end of the corridor, where brendon stops abruptly.

 “This one-” He says, motioning towards the open door to his right, “-Is yours josh.”

“And this one-” he repeats, giving Debby a soft smile before pointing to the door directly across the hall from josh’s, “Is yours. I’ll leave you guys to unpack and get settled in, and then we can finish the tour in the morning tomorrow before you leave, since it’s getting pretty late”

 They both nod in agreement, knowing all too well how early they were going to have to be up in the morning for Warped. But hey, there’s always pain in pleasure right? You know, or so he’s heard.

 Josh giggles to himself quietly at the double meaning, just as Debby is mumbling her goodnights and heading into her room for the night. He sighs softly under his breath, quickly running his hands through his bleach-burned hair, before picking up his own belongings and closing his bedroom door behind him. And as his eyes raise up off of his discarded suitcase, he lets out a small gasp as he takes in his room.

 “No. fucking. way.” He says to himself, mimicking Brendon’s first words to them. His room was fully decked out, including a flat screen TV, ( with an Xbox, he excitedly notes) floor to ceiling windows, and even a private bathroom. And honestly, Josh thinks to himself, he might not be going home at the end of the summer.

 

-

 

“Josh? Hello? Joshua Dun! Brendon made pancakes!” Debby shouts at the barely-conscious mop of pink hair that’s sticking out from the covers. But as soon as the word ‘pancakes’ reaches Josh’s ears, he’s up and out of his bed in a blink of an eye.

 “Hell yeah!” He responds, running towards the door in nothing but his boxes. Debby silently notes that josh's muscles and rib cage are slightly more noticeable than normal; but that’s a conversation for another time. In the meantime though, Josh was desperately waiting in the doorway for Debby to show him where the kitchen was.

 “Just a heads up Debby, i’m pretty sure that in about 5 seconds my stomach is going to literally leave my body if I don’t feed it some pancakes” Josh says in his best little-kid voice, slowly rubbing tight circles on his exposed stomach.

 Debby responds by jutting out bottom lip, her expression full of mock-sympathy.

 “It’s down the hall, on the left” She starts, but josh is already running out of the room by the time she finishes her sentence.

 

-

 

After a quick tour of the house, 8 pancakes, and a shit-ton of sunscreen, the time has finally come. Joshua Dun and Debby Ryan were at warped tour, and there was no place they would rather be.

 The dry california air was mixed with the scent of a thousand sweaty teenagers, and the sun was surely making their existing rosey sunburns turn a nasty shade of red; but they didn’t have a care in the world. The echoes of their favorite bands performing mixed with squealing fans was more than enough to make this the best day of their summer to date.

 That was, until Josh decided that it was a _really_ good idea to reach just a _little_ further over the barricade to get that perfect picture of Derek Sanders. And it _was_ a really good idea; until he lost his footing and bashed his nose straight into the metal barricade. Honestly though, the picture was sick and totally worth a bloody nose. But when the set was over, and even though Josh insisted he was fine, Debby freaked out and (lovingly) shoved him in the direction of the medical tent.

 So here he was, standing in front of the giant red tent labeled ‘medical aid,’ holding a sweaty palm against his nose, as thick blood poured around the sides of his hand; dripping onto the pavement below him. And it was gross, to say the least.

 “Excuse me? Can you speak sir? I can’t help you if I don’t know what happened” someone says to Josh, snapping him out of his injury-fueled daze. Josh cocks his head slightly in order to make eye contact with the speaker as, you know, it was kind of hard to see with his bloody hand in the way. And when his eyes reach the boy behind the table, he drops his palm in disbelief.

 Holy shit holy shit holy shit ho- is all his brain can comprehend at the moment because, _holy shit._ Josh was pretty sure he died on his way over to this tent and was now speaking to a literal angel. Well, I guess they weren’t technically speaking, considering Josh had just been staring at him with a slack jaw; complete with blood pouring down the lower half of his face.

 Again, the boy brings him back to reality, this time with only a sympathetic smile. He’s radiating calmness and light, and within seconds, Josh has his hand attached back to his nose.

 “Oh, uh, i’m really sorry. I just lost my footing and kinda hit this-” Josh says, pausing his train of thought to point at his nose with his free hand “-on the barricade. And then I wasn’t sure if I should come over. Um, but not because of you, or anything like that. Like my friend was telling me it might be broken but i’m pretty sure it’s just a bloody nose and now that I think about it, it seems silly that i’m here with just a bloody nose and so.. You know what? I think i’m going to stop talking now.” Josh says to the volunteer, his cheeks violently turning hot at his own awkward words.

 “That’s fine” The boy replies calmly, his voice soft and sweet “I’m tyler, and if you follow me over there” He says, nodding his head towards the back, never pulling his doe eyes away from josh’s, “I’ll check on your nose. Now, what did you say your name was again?”

 “Uh, it’s Joshua. But you can call me josh” He replies, slowly regaining his cool as he follows Tyler over to the back of the tent. He mentally notes that Tyler has a few inches on him, regardless of his small build.

 “Alright Josh, i just need you to sit down” Tyler replies, waiting for Josh to take a seat in front of him. Once Josh has situated himself, he slowly releases the pressure from his nose; immediately wincing from the lack of contact. But that thought is quickly replaced in the next moment with Josh mentally thanking his lucky stars, on behalf of his loose shorts.

 Because at this current moment, Tyler was on his knees, his face leveled and mere inches from Josh’s. He was so close, in fact, that Josh thought he could feel Tyler’s breath against his neck. He swallows hard, willing the idea to go away before it causes himself any problems.

 Tyler slowly places his fingertips on the bridge of Josh’s nose, gently wrapping them around it while applying steady, but light pressure. It was a harmless action really, but Josh couldn’t stop himself from imagining what those pretty little fingers looked like wrapped around hi-

 “It doesn’t seem to be broken, But it is one hell of a nose bleed” Tyler says quietly, his eyebrows still threaded in concentration as his fingers continue to gently move around Tyler’s nose, assessing the damage. But after a few more moments, tyler makes a slight noise in the back of his throat, apparently coming to a decision.

 “You’re going to be fine, but I don’t think you’ll be entering any beauty pageants for the next few days.” Tyler says with a air-light giggle, his face still dangerously close to Josh’s

 “Damn, there goes my weekend.” Josh replies, his smile practically glowing despite his injury.

 “It’s a shame really. Letting such a pretty face go to waste.” Tyler says, picking himself up off the ground to rummage through one of his bins.

 Josh immediately flushes at the compliment, an unfamiliar feeling spreading throughout his body; it was warm and sweet, like lazy summer days and camping trips with his best friends.

 “Here you go” tyler says sweetly, handing him a pair of painkillers and a packaged cloth to wipe off his nose.  

 “Thanks. And thanks for not laughing at me earlier. You were just so _pretty_ , and I guess it caught me off guard.” Josh flirts back, trying his best to keep his nerves at bay.

 Tyler turns away, obviously unable to hide the rosey cheeks and breathless smile that Josh had caused.

 Josh’s mind immediately begins to wander about just how responsive tyler was to his words; but shakes the idea away when his common sense kicks in and reminds him that he’s known him for like _literally_ 15 minutes, and this boy is so far out of his league that he really shouldn’t even still be standing here.

“Alright, well i’ve got some other patients that need help, but hopefully I see you around, yeah?” Tyler says, dissipating the short-lived mood between them.

“Yeah, that would be nice” Josh responds softly, watching as tyler walks back into the tent with a small wave. Oh, and he swears he wasn’t staring at his ass.

 


	4. You're An Angel Fallen Down

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> “His number was written on the package, dumbass” She says, shoving the package in Josh’s eyes to prove that yes, he actually had died earlier and ascended into heaven; where cute boys with warm eyes give their numbers to idiots with bloody noses.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> This chapter is kind of a filler? but idk i thought it was cute. 
> 
> Also thank you for all of the support! All of the comments/kuddos are inspiring me to write this story more and so exciting thing are coming :)

Josh remembers, once, when he was younger, he broke his arm. In fact, the memory was so well etched into his brain, he doubts he could ever forget that moment.

He remembers the day being relatively nice for a summer day in Ohio; with the morning sunlight peeking in through the tree branches in his backyard, softly casting long shadows over the grass. It was the day of Josh’s 11th birthday party, and his dad had just finished building his new treehouse.

And at that age, nothing his parents did could ever be wrong. His parents were his best friends, and in his eyes, they were incapable of making mistakes. So, you can imagine that 11 year-old josh had no hesitation when his dad asked him to race to the top of the treehouse; both of them knowing that only one person would be able to make it through the makeshift door. In the end, that person wasn’t Josh.

It really was an accident, josh knows. But regardless of fault, his small body still ended up on the ground; broken and unconscious. And from that moment on, he no longer held his parents up on their pedestals; he just couldn’t

But compared to now, that pain seemed like a walk in the park.

After his previous encounter with Tyler, and maybe a few extra deep-breaths than he’d like to admit, Josh eventually had been able to find Debby; despite having to walk around the parking lot with a nose that closely resembled something dead. And, with a sympathetic smile and soft words, she’d managed to find an open spot in the grass for him to lay down on.

And now here he was, one of his arms loosely draped over his eyes to block out the summer sun, while occasionally groaning in sync with the increasingly painful throbs that were radiating through him.

“Here, have some of my water. You need to take your pills” Debby says eventually, breaking their comfortable silence and nudging his shoulder with her water bottle until he takes it with a pained sigh.

The taste of blood in the back of his throat is overwhelming, but he does as he’s told and chases both of the painkillers with a gulp of the warm water.

“I hate to break it to you babe, but the whole blood-crusted nose thing doesn’t really suit you all that well.” Debby says with a grin before adding, “Didn’t they give you something to clean off your nose with?”

“Yeah, asshole, just give me a sec” Josh says, shifting slightly to lift his hips up of the ground, before pulling out the packaged cloth from his back pocket. And, without ever moving his arm away from his eyes, he then spends a few moments with clumsy fingers trying desperately to get the cloth out, before giving up and throwing it in Debby’s general vicinity.

Debby smiles to herself at the innocent action, picks up the discarded cloth, and begins to open it; before making a confused noise in the back of her throat.

“What, you can’t open it eith-?” Josh manages to get out, before getting cut off abruptly “Whose Tyler?” Debby says suddenly with narrowed eyes, causing Josh to noticeably shiver and practically _choke_ on his unspoken words.

“ _Oh_. Whose Tyler?” She repeats again, lighter and with a wide toothy grin; allowing herself to relish in Josh’s flushed cheeks and frantic eyes.

“I don’t… um, why do you ask?” He says quickly, now sitting face to face with his accuser.

“His number was written on the package, dumbass” She says, shoving the package in Josh’s eyes to prove that yes, he actually had died earlier and ascended into heaven; where cute boys with warm eyes give their numbers to idiots with bloody noses.

“Holy shit? Do you think he, um.. Did that on purpose? Like I know he was being flirty and everything but I didn’t think that it actually meant anything” Josh whispers mostly to himself, furrowing his eyebrows in deep thought. Because, I mean, did you see that boy? His eyes glimmered like fireflies and he giggled with the voice of a siren. And don’t even get Josh started on his smile. He’d probably shoot himself in the foot to just run his fingertips over those swollen, rosey lips. And, Josh thinks to himself momentarily, they’d be even prettier while moaning his name.

“Um, he was, he was the guy at the medical tent who helped me out with this thing-” Tyler answers finally while motioning to his nose, and, after a few extra moments of thought, he adds “-And.. he just so happened to be, like, the most beautiful person i’ve ever seen. And, I dunno debbs. When he was talking to me.. His voice was just so soothing and... and it like made me want to listen to everything and anything he had to say.  Which is weird right? Like I know nothing about this boy, but he had my heart fluttering and my head spinning just by _looking_ at me.”

And that was that. He knew it, and now Debby knew it too. Joshua dun, who was never one to believe in love at first sight, was head over heels for the boy with the long eyelashes and pretty full lips and a breathless laugh. He was head over heels for Tyler.

And it was ironic really; The broken and bloody falls for the healing angel.


	5. There's Hope Out The Window

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> And with those three words, Josh could’ve died blissful.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> ok so the next chapter is going to be like 48392 times better and longer than this one so just bear with me

“I’m just _saying_ ” Brendon groans in exasperation, “That if you two had bothered to reapply your sunscreen, none of this would have happened”

And, okay, maybe that was like a little bit true. But who has the time to be putting on sunscreen when you’re sprinting across a field to make it in time for the next set, screaming at the top of your lungs for 30 minutes, eating a snack, and then repeating the process for the next band?

Not Debby and Josh, apparently; after all, the evidence was pretty hard to hide. Both of their bright-red bodies were radiating from their burns. And to say the least, Brendon’s view of them from across the table was pretty interesting.

The tip of Josh’s nose had turned a brilliant array of sallow yellows and dull purples; which paired nicely with both his singed skin and exposed colorful sleeve of tattoos. And Debby on the other hand, was currently showcasing her brand-new tan (or, actually sunburn) lines from the t-shirt she has carelessly worn the day before.

To be completely honest though, Josh really couldn’t care less about his injuries, or the fact that Brendon was about .02 seconds away from getting his ass beat. Which is crazy to think about, because he like, _thrived_ off of the rare pissed-off Debby. (You know, when it wasn’t directed towards him.)

But nevertheless, the arguing was quickly pushed to the back of his thoughts as he began to replay the events that were so-easily latching themselves to his conscious thoughts; not that he was really going to complain about it.

His train of thought was loosely woven with mental images of some seriously talented bands performing, a crinkled-eyed tyler crouching in front of him as he giggles at whatever dumb thing Josh just said, and his best friend laying in the grass as the sunlight graciously coats her resting frame. Oh, and waffles.

The image of his food eventually brings josh’s attention back to the present, where the group of friends were all dining on their made-to-order breakfast; scattering their various half-eaten dishes, syrup, and coffee across the surface of the table.

“-I swear Ryan, it’s going to be so much fun. And it’ll give Josh an excuse to see his new mistress” Brendon pleads to the blonde; making Josh jump at the mention of Tyler.

“Woah woah woah. What’s going on? Is Brendon making you join a cult or something? I told him he can’t be doing that anymore” Josh says casually, earning an impressive eye roll from his male counterpart.

“Come on J, you can’t keep daydreaming about what’s-his-name; I have a strict no-boner policy at the table-” He says in response, mimicking Josh’s cool tone, “- but I was just telling Debby about the party I want to have here on Friday. It’d be nice for you guys to meet some of my friends here, you know? Plus, I haven’t gotten wasted in like, a week, and that’s like a new record for me. I mean I’ve got a reputation to uphold here people.” He whines, his voice creating a convincing mixture of his kindness, sarcasm, and ego (or, as Josh likes to think of it; the basic building blocks for one Brendon urie.)

And, maybe it was because Josh _desperately_ wanted an excuse to get lost in Tyler’s gentle, espresso-painted eyes; or possibly it was the fact that Josh was already on his 3rd cup of caffeine and his hand were shaking a bit too much for his liking. But moments later, he was eagerly agreeing to his first Bredon party since High School.

 

-

 

 **_Josh:_ ** _Hey, this is Tyler right?_

 **_Josh:_ ** _Oh shit this is Josh btw_

 **_Tyler:_ ** _lol I figured. I’m glad you got my number, since I was a little scared that you wouldn’t see it in the midst of everything, you know?_

 **_Josh:_ ** _haha yeah_

 **_Josh:_ ** _Oh wait_

 **_Josh:_ ** _I was going to ask you something_

 **_Tyler:_ ** _lol yeah sure, what’s up?_

 **_Josh:_ ** _My friend Brendon is having a party at his house on friday. Idk if you’re into that kind of stuff but like_

 **_Josh:_ ** _i was wondering if maybe you... wanted to come?_

 **_Josh:_ ** _But don’t worry, no pressure or anything._

 **_Tyler:_ ** _…_

 **_Tyler:_ ** _actually that sounds really fun_

 **_Tyler:_ ** _i’d love too :)_

 

And with those three words, Josh could’ve died blissful.


	6. You're The Only One (That I'm Dreaming Of)

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> And because of all of this, it didn’t surprise Josh in the slightest when, he realized, through his clouded vision, that he was aimlessly moving towards his beacon of light.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> thanks for all of the encouragement guys!! I promise I read and appreciate every comment immensely :)

Talking to Tyler was easy.

Easy, as in Josh never actually said anything. He was so constantly absorbed in the syllables and stories that Tyler shared, that he was surprised he could even function without them.

Regardless, Josh still recognized that 2 a.m. phone calls were nothing compared to actually getting to witness his cotton-candy words push through his bitten lips. And, tonight was the first night that he was truly going to experience such euphoria _without_ his face covered in blood. Which meant it could only go up from here, right?

Right. Probably. Hopefully?

Technically, Josh should have nothing to worry about. Tyler had practically seen him at his worst, and it wasn’t like Josh was unattractive by any means; and the logical part of his brain recognized those points. Unfortunately for Josh, however, that part of his brain is not what ran the show. So, while Debby and Brendon were going around the house and setting up for the night’s events, Josh was hiding away with shallow breaths and nervous hums.

And as much as he didn’t want to admit it, Tyler was the one to cause all of this. He was the one that made his internal butterflies awaken and stretch their wings across the inside of his stomach, he was the one to make Josh put on something that actually had sleeves, and he was the one to make Josh’s right index finger religiously tap against his knee; something he only did before big events.

And to Josh, this _was_ a really big event. Because despite what his friends say, Josh has never really been a big ‘relationship’ kind of guy. Sure, he recognizes when he has romantic or sexual feelings towards someone else, but that’s not that same as actually, wholeheartedly, wanting to invest yourself in them. It’s hard to accept that you’re putting your faith and trust in the hands of someone so important to you; someone who could crush your whole world without thinking twice. But Tyler was a different story, and never in his life had Josh felt this way towards someone else.

Even now, as Josh rests on the edge of his borrowed bed, he remembers the way he felt around Tyler. And if it weren’t for the circumstances, he would definitely be daydreaming of his fluffy brunette hair and drinking up his angelic aura.

But a soft knock on his door reminded him that now was definitely not the time for such thoughts, especially since people would be arriving at any moment. So, Josh just makes a small noise of approval to the visitor outside his door, and allows his silver-haired friend to make her way into the room.

“Hey J, you alright?” She says softly, slowly dropping her attention downwards; mentally noting to herself that Josh was tapping his finger against his knee through the rip in his jeans. And they both knew what it meant; without even saying a word to each other.

“Josh? I know you’re stressed about seeing Tyler, but you’ve got to understand that he’s probably in the same position as you. Besides, being surrounded by drunk college students is generally going to paint you in a better light.” She adds, allowing herself to sit beside the boy and tuck her head against his shoulder.

“Thanks Debbs. I know it’s dumb, like I really do. I mean this isn't even a date! I’m just scared i’m going to say something wrong and it’s going to fuck up any chance I had with him to begin with, you know?-” he replies through strained words; then, after a few moments, he quickly adds under his breath, “I can’t let myself do that. I can’t lose something I didn’t even get the chance to experience in the first place.”

But by now, people were slowly starting to make their appearances; only acknowledged because Brendon was a surprisingly good host, and would greet them over the ear-splitting music. And hey, Josh had to admit that Brendon always knew how to throw a party. After all, that _was_ kind of his job.

Not in a technical sense, per say, but recently it was brought to Josh’s attention that Brendon was some kind of ( _famous_ , if you could call it that) DJ at a nightclub/bar kind of thing in downtown. And it was funny really, considering how much Brendon had wanted to go into the music scene when they were teenagers. And to some degree, Josh thinks he did.

Sure, not in the traditional way that he had originally planned on; but atleast he generally got to stick around California. And, not to mention he was able to make connections with like, literally _everyone_ Josh had ever dreamed of working with, and of course, it let him afford his lavish lifestyle.

Like, for example, the party that they were currently both supposed to be co-hosting.

“Come on, this is stupid. I’m sure you’d rather be getting high with all of Brendon’s super cool friends than consoling me.” He says with a light-hearted smirk, breaking his own trance and nudging the girl beside him.

She responds wordlessly by giving Josh her famous ‘wet-cheek kiss’, and pulls herself up and out of the room, only slightly wavering in her heels. And, with a low sigh, he mimics her actions and allows himself to easily join the flow of moving people.

 

-

  


About an hour after the party started, Tyler finally showed up; announcing his arrival to Josh with a text. But honestly, tipsy Josh had kinda hoped that maybe Tyler would, like, burst in and bury himself in his arms, all the while exclaiming how much he had missed the boy.

Instead, however, he stood awkwardly at the door; hopelessly scanning the crowd for a splash of pink. And, when their eyes finally made contact, Josh realized that his entrance couldn’t have mattered less. Because the second Tyler looked at him, nothing else mattered. The chaos that had previously engulfed his every thought, was forgotten in seconds. And suddenly, his whole world had become about the boy staring back at him with flushed cheeks and a shy smile. And truthfully,Tyler wasn’t even dressed in anything over the top; just a red button up shirt lazily paired with black skinny jeans and vans. So why, for god’s sake, did he take Josh’s every breath away?

Tyler was so completely and utterly _beautiful_ , that even as he was surrounded by strangers reeking of booze and sweat, he radiated calmness and life.

And because of all of this, it didn’t surprise Josh in the slightest when, he realized, through his clouded vision, that he was aimlessly moving towards his beacon of light.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> for anyone wondering, this isn't the end of the party!! it's going to be extended into the next chapter since it would have been like way too long if I tried to fit it all in one chapter. 
> 
> Also: don't worry, I know this is missing a lot of character development and explanation for some things. But I promise it will all be explained later.


	7. Another Night Another Dream (I'm Wasted On You)

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> And if they were going to be completely honest, they both wanted to live in that moment forever.

“Josh! I’m uh, i’m glad to see you.” Tyler begins with a nervous grin, but quickly sheds his shyness as Josh’s frame grows closer. 

And  _ fuck _ , maybe it’s because Josh’s already had a few drinks, but he  _ swears _ with everything in his body that tyler’s eyes just fell down; hovering over Josh’s lips for a fraction of a second. 

“Me too, baby boy.” 

The words come out strong. Confident. Reassuring. But inside Josh’s own anxious thoughts, it was another story. Because, Um _, Holy shit._ Did that actually just come out of his mouth? He had said it out of habit, really, because at this point Josh couldn’t even count the number of times he had day-dreamed of this night in his head. Not to mention Josh has practically zero willpower and unless he wanted the mental image of Tyler begging and moaning his name underneath him, he definitely wasn’t allowed to use that petname. 

“I think i’m going to go grab a beer. Did you maybe want to chill outside for a bit? It’s a little hard to hold a conversation in here.” Tyler suggests through an easy smile, his olive skin still dusted with a rose-tinted hue from the previous compliment.

“Definitely. The kitchen’s down that hall-” He starts, motioning towards his left, “I can meet you outside in the back if you want?” 

Tyler replies with a gracious nod, each of them breaking away onto their separate paths, allowing Josh to clear his head for a moment; something he desperately needed. 

But this whole situation was so out of Josh’s routine, his mind barely knew how to recover; After all, he really only had experience from the other side of things. 

Back home, Josh was more than familiar with what he could do with his words. With the right combination of compliments and praises, he could wrap anyone around his fingers; eliciting the same nervous giggles he was becoming used to while around Tyler. 

But even through his clouded thoughts, he still recognized that this wasn’t the time to be overthinking everything. With everything considered, this was a harmless party; and all they had in store for the night was talking, and maybe meeting some of Brandon's friends. In fact, Josh thinks to himself, his nerves were already starting to subside. And maybe, just maybe, he’d finally be able to regain his cool around Tyler. 

And now that he had escaped the majority of the chaos from inside, everything was starting to seem a little less daunting. He still had a few minutes before Tyler would be able to get through the crowd of people, so he settled himself against the railing that overlooked the rest of the garden. And his view was breathtaking; to say the least. 

Brendon and Debby had really brought everything together with the decorations, allowing the party’s energy to easily flow into the yard. The patio was littered with groups of beautiful people entranced in their own conversations, and the music and lighting spilling out of the cracked windows and doors still made it feel interesting. And as much as Josh usually loved locking himself inside smoky rooms with tempting people, he felt a lot more relaxed out here; the warm breeze and night life making his bones feel as if they no longer needed their constraints. 

“Oh there you are, I was beginning to think that maybe we both had gotten lost in the sea of people.” 

The sudden words startle Josh for a second, before he quickly recognizes the soft edges and breathless giggle.

“It’s a little overwhelming, isn't it. I mean, I live with this dude. And you know, never once in my life did I think that i’d end up in something closely resembling the Great Gatsby. But i guess you live and you learn right?” He replies, finishing his statement with a little shift so that Tyler had some space to sit down. 

“Honestly? I secretly always wanted to go to one of Brendon’s parties. But i didn’t even realize it was  _ this  _ Brendon until I got here.-” he says, pausing to scoff at himself under his breath, “- I feel kinda under dressed.” 

“Don’t be silly. In this situation, you’re like, Daisy Buchanan. You could make any guy in this house go crazy.” 

Tyler smiles at the boy in front of him, his blush practically permanent. And they both just sit like that for a moment, wordlessly enjoying the presence of the other; allowing themselves to lazily relish in the simplicity and warm summer air. 

And in that moment, Josh understands. He understands that when he’s around Tyler, nothing else seems to matter to him. Every little thing he had worried about going wrong, wasn’t even relevant anymore; Because the very essence of Tyler made him feel safe and important, and all he ever wanted was to make him feel the same way. And, as if his quick heartbeat hadn’t already given it away, he was finally coming to accept that this wasn’t just an innocent crush. 

Because as he lost himself in Tyler’s features, he knew he was in too deep; he found himself wanting to know every last detail about Tyler’s life. He wanted to know whether Tyler liked coffee or tea better, where he grew up, what his favorite hobbies were, what his dream wedding looked like, was he a hopeless romantic? Josh didn’t know, but  _ god _ did he want too. 

And before he could even stop himself, his cascade of questions was breaking their comfortable silence; resulting in embarrassing childhood stories flowing through the small space between them. 

And if they were going to be completely honest, they both wanted to live in that moment forever.

-

 

“No way! I found the lovebirds!” Brendon calls over his shoulder towards the open door, earning a pair of narrowed eyes from Josh. 

Debby comes walking out a few seconds later, her smile just a bit too wide to be sober. 

“So.. how’d the date go? I’m going to assume well if neither of you left that spot all night. It  _ is  _ almost daylight.” Brendon sing-songs towards the pair 

“Brend-!” Josh manages to get out, before Tyler is cutting him off with a giggle. 

“trust me, this wasn’t a date. I would  _ never _ talk about how I once accidentally said I was part lesbian instead of lebanese to my second grade class on a real date.” He happily slurs; his couple of beers altering the end of his giddy words.   

The whole group erupts with laughter at the comment; Brendon making sure to shoot a quick glance of approval towards Josh.

“Besides, next time I am totally picking what we do.-” Tyler starts, turning his body towards the boy in front of him with a smirk, “-Joshua  William  Dun, get ready for the full California experience.” 

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Get ready for sporty Tyler :)
> 
> aka my actual weakness


	8. You Are What You Love (Not Who Loves You)

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> this chapter is kind of a filler? but also important bc Brendon's plot needed a lot of explanation.

Josh was really, _really_ hoping that Debby would, you know, leave him alone for like two seconds.  But it was a losing battle, in the end of things.

Really, all he had wanted to do was take a day to chill and finally get settled into his new surroundings. And after waking up relatively early, he pretty much had his whole day planned out to the t. 

He was going to do nothing. Like,  _ nothing. _

Josh lived for those days where he didn't really have any plans or responsibilities; and although the were rare, they were also cherished. Regardless of how social he had been recently, it was always nice to get a day where nothing was really expected of him; the eye of the hurricane, if you will.

But josh’s  _ please get out of my face can’t you see it’s my lazy day, _ day was getting a major upgrade. Actually, Josh’s entire life was getting upgraded after staying with Brendon this summer, and he definitely wasn’t going to complain. 

His usual setup of locked doors and comfy sheets were now being replaced by the california sun, and the sounds of the ocean. And as much as Josh hated to admit it, he might have found something he likes doing more than sleeping in.  _ maybe.  _

It was nice though, to be able to lay out on the sand and enjoy the sickeningly sweet mixture of warmth and salty ocean air. But the part that he had appreciated the most, was that it was a private beach; meaning no one would want to talk to him. That was, until Debby found him. 

She hadn’t made her presence known right away; just quietly sliding into the chair next to Josh’s. And even though he had sensed that someone was next to him, he refused to remove his arm from over his drowsy eyes; silently praying that Debby had come out here for the beach instead of him. 

“Hey, can we talk?” She eventually said, her words weak against the crashing waves.

And normally, that combination of words would have strangled Josh. They would have sent his anxiety flying and left his body to deal with aftermath. But with Debby, everything was different. She knew what set him off, and adjusted her tone accordingly. She wasn’t accusing, she just wanted to have a conversation.

“Sure Debbs, what’s up?” 

“It’s about Brendon.”

And shit, did that catch Josh’s attention; his original lazy demeanor was quickly replaced by a bright-eyed and slightly confused expression. 

But Debby just grinned at him, obviously trying to calm the atmosphere. She could tell by the unkempt stubble and unruly hair that today was a de-stress day for her best friend; and the last thing she wanted to do was take that away from him. 

“Do you remember our first day here, when Brendon said he was a little scatterbrained after the whole ‘Jenna thing’” She said, air quotes and all

“No? Actually, wait, yeah I do. It was when he was showing us to our rooms right? And you gave me a look like ‘don’t ask’ and so I never did?”

“Yeah, well I thought I would wait to tell you until Brendon wasn’t around, and originally I was going to try to talk to you about it during the party last week, but then you got a little, uh, sidetracked. But it’s kinda important that you know what happened” 

Josh only replied with a interested nod, urging Debby to continue her story.

“Anyways, Jenna. She’s actually, uh,  _ was _ brendon’s fiance.”

“What? Brendon was engaged? Why didn’t he say anything?” 

“well, they weren’t really engaged that long. I doubt he had time to think about who to tell before it was called off. And-” 

The rest of her sentence was inevitably lost to Josh, however, because his mind could only wrap itself around those last two words.

_ Called off. _

Brendon was engaged, and they called off the wedding? Why would they call off the wedding? 

“Josh? Hey, this is important.”

“Shit, yeah i’m sorry. Just a lot of information.”

“Yeah, but it’s about to get worse. But Josh, this isn’t just some story, ok? This is our friend. Someone important to us-” She scolds, only making Josh’s curiosity grow. “-Do you know who Pete Wentz is?”

“Um? Pete wentz? as in the bassist of Fall out boy? Why… why is he even relevant to the story?” He quickly questions, scoffing at the sudden change of tone. 

“Yeah, that Pete Wentz. But, uh, you know how Brendon has a lot of connections in the music industry right? Well, it turns out the soon-to-be-Urie’s knew him pretty well. So well, in fact, he’s the reason they called off the wedding.” 

“I don’t underst-”

“Jenna cheated on him, Josh. She cheated on Brendon, with one of his friends. She cheated on him with Pete.”

“What? Are, are you sure? That can’t be righ-” He manages to get out, before his questions are abruptly cut off again.

“Yeah, i’m sure, and it completely fucked him up. He didn’t catch her in bed or anything, but she was just never around. He knew something was going on, but he said he never thought she would cheat. And apparently it had been going on for a long time, like, the last  _ third  _ of their relationship. That’s like, almost 2  _ years _ , Josh”

“But to get to the point, that’s kinda why we’re here. Remember that really late phone call I had with him before I asked you to come down here for the summer? That was him basically venting about all of this. He was in such a bad place, I didn't know what he would do if he was left alone. I mean, getting cheated on? With someone you introduced her too? Like that’s gotta be so rough. And i’m sure you remember how hard it was for him to trust people in high school.” She says softly, eliciting a wordless agreement from the boy

“I, uh, I don’t even know what to say to that. I’ve never thought of Brendon as like a super emotionally attached person, but that really must’ve killed him. But I mean, I guess it’s good that we’re here and everything; he deserves the support.”   
“Exactly. Which is why I came out here to tell you everything. There’s still a bunch of Jenna’s shit laying around, and I know she’s going to be dropping by today to get some of it. Do you think you could maybe get Brendon out of the house? I know it’s your day off any everything, but I think he could just really use some time away.-” She starts, before quickly adding with a smirk, “-Maybe you could ask Tyler for some ideas on things to do? I bet he wouldn’t mind hanging out with the two of you.”

_ Oh boy _ , josh think to himself momentarily, a day out with just Brendon and Tyler?  _ Nothing _ could go wrong there. 

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Thank you so much for reading!! i'm already planning the next couple of chapters and like #joshler is going to be full force i'm so excited
> 
> p.s. sporty tyler makes his appearance in the next chapter :)


	9. Something New Under the Sun

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> 1000 hits?? omg that's so cool thank you so much for reading!!!

“Hey, you missed a little” Tyler whispers, his fingertips brushing over Josh’s cheek in an attempt to rub in the last spot of sunscreen.

Josh only responds by leaning into the touch, his surroundings suddenly inferior to the feeling of the other boy’s gentle hands. And when Tyler makes a hum of approval to himself and pulls back his thumb, Josh barely stops a whimper from escaping his lips.

“Ah, how cute. Tyler’s looking out for you j” Brendon coos from behind the pair, breaking Josh out of his trance

“I can’t help it! If Josh gets anymore sunburnt, I won’t get to see his cute little blush” Tyler replies with a smirk, his attention still transfixed on the pink-haired boy in front of him. 

But currently, Tyler was really living up to his word. And even though this still technically wasn’t a date, he had made sure to pick something… a little more up his alley. 

Cliff jumping. As in, like, _ jumping off of cliffs. _

In all Honesty, when Josh had called him that morning and explained the situation, he had thought Tyler was Joking. There was no fucking  _ way  _ he was getting pulled into something like that, especially when it was his day off. But after 45 minutes, minimal persuasion on Tyler’s part, and Josh’s realization that he would get to see him shirtless, the three boys were standing at the base of their hike. 

And if you ask Josh, this was a real milestone for him. Unlike most guys he knew, he had never really been athletic in high school; generally opting for an art class or two instead of gym. Not to say he was weak by any means; he still had more upper body strength than anyone he knew. But the only hike he’s ever willingly participated in was during his junior year of highschool; and even then he was stoned out of his mind, so he figures that doesn't really count. 

Regardless, Josh wasn’t about to admit all of this to tyler; and since Brendon seemed psyched to be doing anything than seeing Jenna, he didn’t really have that much of a choice. The last thing Josh wanted was to give Tyler yet another reason to flutter his eyelashes and whisper promises that he’ll be okay. After all, Josh was supposed to be the one to protect his boy; not the other way around. 

 

-

 

Josh thinks he may have made a mistake. 

In hindsight, he really should have seen this coming. Just because Josh had mentally prepared himself for such a trek, doesn’t mean his body was going to be as understanding. After all, hiking up two miles in the blisteringly dry california heat is a lot for a college student who spends most days watching the x-files and eating taco bell. So what if he died young? Atleast he’d go doing what he loves. 

“Hey J? You alright? We can take another break if ya need it. We don't have that much farther to go” Tyler questions, his words patient and forgiving. 

“Nah i’m ok, really. I’m just taking it slow for Brendon.” He replies, earning a unimpressed scoff from his friend. 

The reality of his own thoughts, however, was a different story. The bone-dry air was suffocating his lungs from the inside out, the sun was getting underneath his pale skin in a desperate attempt to burn it off, and then there was Tyler; the most destructive of them all. 

Not in a traditional sense, of course; Josh’s doubts Tyler’s ever even had an aggressive thought in his life. Instead, his weapon of choice is to play with the fragile strings of Josh’s heart; making his breath even shallower and his awkward words become even more shaky. And at this point, even Brendon could sense Josh’s feelings towards the lanky boy, and had eventually separated himself from the pair; claiming he “just needed some time alone.”

Besides, it didn’t help that Tyler was barely even breaking a sweat; allowing himself to uphold his reputation as  a paragon . And, with his shirt discarded long ago, his toned frame had been Josh’s savior for the entirety of their trip. Because with Josh trailing behind the group almost the entire time, it gave him to perfect excuse to latch his gaze onto Tyler. 

His skin was dusted with a radiant glow, somehow bringing out both the dusty olive tones, and his rich tan. His earth-toned hair was slicked back, constantly being held in place by the water from his water bottle; not even a single stand out of place. His clothes were casual and about a half-size too big, barely clinging to the parts that needed to be covered. And in between comfortable conversations with Josh, he was always humming or singing under his breath. Which Josh mentally notes, hoping to remind himself about asking Tyler to sing for real one day. 

That is, assuming that they continue doing  _ whatever  _ they were doing now. Really, Josh doubts they could even consider themselves dating. And, like, at some point he was going to have to make a move; because he really wasn’t going to last much longer without Tyler in his life. And at this point, all he wanted to do was kiss the humble boy; no matter how grungy and disheveled he looked against the god in front of him. 

“Josh! Look, we made it!” Tyler shouts from a few meters ahead with a giggle, his eyes crinkled.

And when josh meets up with him at the end of the trail, his jaw practically unhinges itself from his skull. Because,  _ holy shit _ , it was like nothing he’d ever seen before. The drop off from their trail was about 20 feet deep or so, ending in a pool of the clearest water he’d ever witnessed. The previous hike had perfectly hidden the eventual beauty, and the entire scene was so tranquil; and it matched Tyler’s personality perfectly. 

“What did I tell you? Isn't it great up here! Sometimes when i’m really stressed out I just come up here by myself to cool down; since not that many people know about it, it’s kind of secluded y’know? I mean I usually don’t bring people up here, since it’s kind of a like a personal place but… I don’t know, you and Brendon seemed like you’d appreciate it.” Tyler says quietly, his once confident demeanor now replaced by quickened words and smaller breaths. 

Josh quickly picks up on Tyler’s drastic change of confidence, and rests his palm flat against the small of his back; it was reassuring, but not overbearing. The last thing he wanted to do was overwhelm him, so they stay like that for a few moments, allowing Tyler to steady himself on Josh’s own calm breathing. And it was nice, to know what the other was thinking without saying anything; almost as if they had been best friends for years. Almost as if they were meant to be with each other; perfect equilibrium. 

After a few deep breaths, Tyler responds with a thankful smile; wordlessly assuring Josh that he was alright. But nothing in his mind was telling him to move his hand, or to step away; because he just really loved the innocent contact between them. It was pure. Real. loving. And, losing himself in Tyler's features, Josh decides in that moment that he just can’t wait any longer. He needed this. 

Josh lightly presses his hand into Tyler’s back, signaling him to move in closer. Closer, closer, and closer; until the only thing in between the boys is their rapid heartbeats, dark eyes through long eyelashes, and awaiting lips. 

And then it happens. True euphoria. 

Their lips connect; and for a single second, nothing happens. But when they both regain consciousness, everything is in sync. 

Their lips. 

Their breath. 

Their feelings. 

They're one person, and nothing exists except the other. 

Their bodies.

Their tongues.

Their hands 

Everything is touching and they don’t know what belongs to who. 

Everything is perfect. Everything is perfect, until there’s giggling in their ears and hands around their shoulders. 

One moment they're together, and the next they're falling. Falling fast, and slightly delusional; but both of their falls are quickly broken by the cool water from the lake below. 

And  _ fuck _ , Josh is  _ so  _ going to murder Brendon. 


	10. I'm Not Sure If I Can See This Ever Stopping

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Yikes sorry this is so short, but i definitely felt like it was a good place to leave off. But i promise the next chapter will be longer!

“Jesus Brendon, cut me some slack. I’m finally getting somewhere with this dork and this is  _ not _ how I imagined our first time, uh, dripping wet together.” Tyler says, slipping his fingers through his soaked hair.

Brendon brushes off the comment with a smirk, easily allowing the mood to pass. Because really, he didn’t know Tyler that well; and for that split moment of shock as the boys hit the water, he registered the thought that, okay, maybe Tyler wouldn’t have found this so funny. Maybe he had his phone in his pocket, or maybe he, like, couldn’t swim and Brendon had unknowingly pushed him to his doom. But luckily enough for everyone, Tyler and Josh started giggling the moment their faces broke the surface. 

But really, Brendon figures he could get away with most anything as long as Josh had been previously sticking his tongue down a cute boy’s throat.

And, Brendon  _ did _ have to admit that they were pretty good together. You could see it in the way Josh beamed at Tyler like he was his only source of hope in this world; and in the way Tyler was always checking on Josh. Making sure he was comfortable, making sure he was okay. They were so hopelessly invested in the other; and it was escalating faster than any of Josh’s past relationships. Even as they were climbing back up to their previous spot by Brendon, Josh had triple checked that Tyler was out of the water and safe, before he even considered getting out himself. And, as sappy as it was, it was nice seeing Josh invested in a relationship.

And with all of this in mind, Brendon knew what the earlier kiss had meant for the pair, and what it didn’t; he had always been pretty good at picking up those signals. Which meant, whether he liked it or not, Brendon was going to have to bite the bullet and leave them alone for a while.

which didn’t leave him much of an option. 

“Listen loverboy, we’re officially even” Brendon huffs, his annoyance and exhaustion crystal clear through his words. But despite his small protest, he eventually makes it over the rocky edge into the safety of the lake. 

Josh replies with a sigh of relief; wordlessly appreciating the fact he wasn’t going to have to talk about his  _ feelings _ , or whatever the fuck he and Tyler were about to discuss, in front of Brendon. 

“Hey J? Are you alright?” Tyler softly questions, slowly pulling Josh out of his own head

“Oh, yeah, m’fine. Just thinking is all”

“Did ya want to, uh, maybe talk about what happened earlier?” Tyler responds softly, as if saying it too loud would send Josh running.

And really, the question in itself should have been easy for Josh to answer. ‘Of course!’ he could say, or better, ‘i’ve been waiting for that since the moment I met you.’ But instead, his words abandon him; leaving him to stare hopelessly into Tyler’s calming eyes in search of syllables and coherent thoughts.  

“S’okay. I can go first.” Tyler replies, his gentle hands reaching out for Josh’s; and when they connect, he aimlessly begins to rub soft circles with his thumb. The action sending waves of calm and affection over Josh, radiating through every crevice and flaw on his body.

“I, uh, oh god, where do I even start? When we first met, I could barely breathe. I was, like, absolutely certain that you were going to kill m-” Tyler starts, before getting cut off by Josh’s nervous comment

“-The foundation of every healthy relationship”

“wait , no no no you’ve gotta let me finish” Tyler replies, frantically gathering his thoughts.

“I uh, thought you were going to kill me because right then and there I decided that I needed you. I needed us. I needed to hear that giggly laughter and get lost in your crinkly eyes everyday; and I was certain there was no way I was going to ever see you again. So, like, I took a shot in the dark and wrote my number on that package and literally prayed that you would call me sometime. I mean, I honestly didn’t even know if you were single or had any interest in me, but I figured it was worth a shot y’know? And then when we actually started talking at the party and everything, I was like ‘fuck Tyler, you’ve really done it this time. You’ve fallen for the most quintessential guy  _ ever’  _ and even now, with your blushed cheeks and timid smile, i’m losing myself. And I don’t know if you can hear my heartbeat right now, but I surely can.” 

The sentiment hits Josh all at once, and he’d be lying if he said it wasn’t the best feeling he’s ever experienced. Because, _ holy shit _ , the actual embodiment of happiness and light just confessed his feeling for him. Tyler Joseph, the unobtainable and slightly weakening angel that had been the center point of his every thought, just confessed his feelings for him. 

And Josh? Josh was just standing there, smiling like an idiot. And, suddenly the brief thought that his own response (or lack thereof) could signify his disinterest is crushing. So, he decides  that before his anxiety could contaminate his train of thought, he was going to say something. Something he’s wanted to say for a while. Something that, as the warm sunlight reflects off of Tyler’s face, and his vulnerable smile makes even the darkest parts of him light up; he’s never been more sure of in his life:

“i’d literally love nothing more than to be able to call you mine. Will you, uh, will you be my like actual, official boyfriend?”

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Thanks for Reading! Don't forget that you can come bug me about this/anything really @victorfuntes on tumblr!
> 
> Also, authors note: There's definitely smut in the foreseeable future... i've just got to figure out how to write it lol


	11. Nothing Kills a Man Faster Than His Own Head

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Just to be safe:   
> TW for eating disorder mention in this chapter!

Josh didn’t care, and apparently, neither did Tyler.

Neither of the boys seemed to mind how quickly everything between them was moving, despite the fact that Josh had, at one point in his life, been absolutely positive he would never invest himself in someone else like that. 

And yet, here they were, a few weeks into their relationship and Josh wasn’t panicking. Or, at least, he wasn’t panicking about that. And considering the amount of things Josh panics over, it was nice for him to have a break. And truthfully, it was actually kind of funny to him how his own emotions were so directly tied to Tyler’s presence; eliciting both immense bliss and engulfing uncertainty from the pink-haired boy. 

But honestly, he wouldn’t trade it for the world. 

This wasn’t to say, however, that Tyler didn’t do things to annoy him. In fact, Tyler’s current top-of-the-list misdemeanor was something that was so out of the realm of possibilities in Josh’s mind, that he still hadn’t fully processed it yet. 

Tyler, in all honesty, had admitted to Josh that he didn’t like _ ice cream.  _

But of course, Josh immediately chose to believe that he  _ hadn’t _ heard something so ghastly come out of such beautiful lips; eventually vowing to get Tyler to share his love of ice cream, or go down trying. 

Which is exactly why, moments after learning such shocking news, Josh was leading Tyler to his car with excited giggles and quick feet. 

But when Josh shared his desired point of interest with hopeful eyes and a hint of a smirk, he got the impression that Tyler wasn’t as thrilled as josh hoped he would be. In fact, given how Tyler could barely even look in the other’s general vicinity, you’d think Josh was doing anything but taking them out for dessert.

“You know, this is technically kidnapping” Tyler huffs from the passenger side, his eyebrows knotted together 

“You know, i’m pretty sure you’re the only person to ever turn down an ice cream date” 

“Touché babe, touché” 

But as the drive continues, Josh intertwines his fingers with Tyler’s, the clouds begin to part, and the idea of ice cream with his boyfriend doesn’t seem so bad. 

 

-

 

“Hi! Can I get a few scoops of the  chocolate espresso in a waffle cone?” Josh says, his tone light and airy; a stark contrast to his usual demeanor 

The girl behind the counter makes a hum of acknowledgement, leaving the two briefly to search for the requested flavor. But once she returns with Josh’s long awaited ice cream, it’s obvious how blissful this moment was for the boy. With the sunlight peeking through the shop’s windows, the pleasant hum of the air conditioner intertwined with sounds of happy kids, and of course, the radiant glow from where his boyfriend was absentmindedly rubbing circles into his free hand; no one could really blame him. The moment was tranquil, and Josh hoped he would remember this feeling for a long time. 

But eventually, the overall attention is switched to Tyler; the two awaiting his chosen flavor for the day. 

“Uh, I don’t know. Can I just have a bowl of vanilla please?” Tyler asks, but his disinterest is crystal clear.

Normally, this type of behavior would eat Josh alive. His pulse would seep through any escape it could find, and all that would be left of him would be the constant melody of  _ getoutgetoutgetout   _ running through his panic-driven thoughts. But this was Tyler; and he just doesn’t like ice cream. 

“Babe. If you’re going to get ice cream, you’ve got to do it right” He says, finishing his statement with a gentle squeeze to Tyler’s hand; silently removing the potential venom of his words. 

“Can he get the banana foster in a cone instead please? And why not top it with some fudge? I’ve got to effectively convert him somehow.” Josh says, pretending not to notice the dramatic groan coming from his counterpart. 

“Sure thing. And this _ is  _ one of our most popular flavors hun. I’ve been told it’s life changing.” The girl replies sweetly, handing Tyler his own cone. 

And as soon as he receives his own dessert, Josh’s lips are graciously attached to the shell of his ear. And, somewhere inside breathy words and a shiver down tyler’s frame, he registers the words ‘i’ve got this’ and ‘pick any table you want baby’

His eyes eventually land on an empty table towards the back of the small shop; and while Tyler’s mind is still reeling from the petname, his feet manage to carry him to his destination. 

In the few moments it takes Josh to pay and join him at the table, Tyler decides he’ll wait to try his ice cream until Josh was with him. After all, tyler was positive he wasn’t going to like his frozen dessert; and at least this way he could tease his boyfriend aimlessly for the lost cause. But, as Josh claims his chair next to Tyler, he swears he’s never seen more anticipation on the other boy’s face before; and, okay, maybe Tyler feels a little bad about this. 

“Tyler? Come on you can’t do this to me, the suspense is killer. Please eat, and love your ice cream so I can gloat about this later” Josh says after a few moments, his sly words showcasing his signature smirk.

And that boastful comment is what really does it. Because at this point, Tyler just wants to make a point; so he takes the most dramatic lick of his cone he can manage. But, as he waits for his own face to contort in a weird mixture of disgust and sickeningly-sweet pride, Tyler realizes something far worse; the ice cream is actually  _ really fucking good.  _

And the second he registers this thought, Josh seems to understand; and  _ god _ does Tyler wish he had hated this damn ice cream. 

“No way! You love it! I told you babe, Liks has like, orgasm-worthy ice cream. And you can’t even be annoyed because it’s just so good” Josh says with a smile so wide, his eyes get crinkled. 

“You know what? I hate that you’re always right.”

And so they continue like that for a while; both of them contempt with their cold ice cream and comfortable conversations. 

That was, until  _ something _ set Josh off. Really, he should’ve seen it coming. He should've been prepared. He should’ve been ready for comments like this, especially considering their surrounds. 

It was a harmless conversation, really. And it wasn’t like Josh had been eavesdropping or anything; the two girls were merely just loud talkers. It shouldn’t have mattered anyways, because to most people, their conversation topic was completely 

normal. 

Easy. 

Understood. 

But with a few sentences, the girls had managed to bring him to his knees. 

One of the teens had started off by mentioning that ‘she couldn’t eat the icecream, she was trying to be healthy’ or something of the sorts, and that was ok. Josh could handle a simple comment like that. What he couldn’t handle, was when the same girl began 

elaborating. 

Explaining.

Judging. 

To her, she was just being informative; helping her friend to understand why she just didn’t want to eat her icecream. But to Josh, she was breaking down his walls with every syllable that left her mouth: ‘I can’t eat that ice cream because that cone, in total, has like 1500 calories! That’s like 75% of what you should eat in an entire day! I don’t know, It’s just not worth it to me’

And even though it was a perfectly valid thing to say, it triggered something in Josh. His hearing lost long ago, and eyes immediately glazed over; his dissociation working overtime to 

forget.

Erase.

Forgive.

But all Josh could focus on was the heavy feeling in his  _ hipsthighsstomacharms,  _ and the even heavier feelings clinging to his own train of thought. Every fibre of his being was dripping with self loathing; his every surrounding inferior to the guilt that was gnawing at his fingertips. What he couldn’t focus on was his worried boyfriend, desperately trying to get his attention. What he couldn’t focus on was his ice cream melting all over the table.  What he couldn't focus on was the curious gazes he was beginning to attract. 

The only two words that Josh’s high-strung and dull mind could wrap itself around tightly enough to comprehend was this:  _ Don’t eat.  _

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> i'm truly sorry it took me a month to write such an awful chapter


End file.
